As we come into February and towards March, our thoughts inevitably turn to spring. Spring often brings a sense of joy, of hope, of planning for the future. In last month’s blog we explored the idea of setting intentions, of taking our time, of being aware and compassionate towards ourselves.
This month we start our well-being series by exploring the idea of connection. Many of us may have chosen this as one of our intentions for the coming year…to connect more, to be more present, especially as we start to ease out of the pandemic.
The past two years have been challenging for children and families. Connections that were once taken for granted have been harder to maintain. For new parents, established rites of passage such as attending baby groups, meeting new friends and seeing your child bond with extended family have been missed or have changed to online connections.
Why is connection so important to us, what is it about connection that we have so greatly missed in the recent past? Connection is so much a part of who we are. From the moment we arrive in this world, we seek connection for our survival. Not only does connection enable us to survive as we are nurtured, it brings us great joy.
The first - much anticipated - giggle of a young baby when their parent tickles or kisses them is a sign of how much connection means to us. The joyous faces at airports when we see reunions, and the pain that has been caused by separations during the pandemic…connection is fundamental to who we are. It heals the past, it makes the present both manageable and joyous - and it supports us to move forwards to the future feeling secure and grounded.
Connection is fundamental to our health and well-being. Authors such as Johann Hari have written about the influence a lack of connection can have on depression and addiction. GP and author Rangan Chatterjee has a podcast with the title, “Why Connection is the Most Important Aspect of Health”. Research has even suggested social isolation can be as damaging for our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
We know connection really matters. How do we bring more of it to our lives and to our family?
The starting point for connection is our immediate family. Helping our children to know they belong, that they have an emotional safe-base in us, is a great place to start. With this foundation, they will go through their lives knowing what connection feels like, and how to seek it out.
When we are looking for ways to reconnect with children and help them to feel connected to us, here are a few simple tips…
Start with the basics…connection isn’t about money, big events or special occasions. It is about the beauty of everyday moments.
Creating family rituals can help - around mealtimes, daily or weekly events. It might be a special song or story that is enjoyed regularly, doing some exercise together, or aiming to sit down for a family meal each day.
Never underestimate the value of fun - put on some music and dance, go for a walk in the rain, or just take a moment to truly laugh together.
Connect to each other’s emotions through naming and validating each other’s feelings. This emotional investment will bring connection in bucket-loads.
Connect through touch - try a baby massage class, and older children will love massage too. If this isn’t right for your family, perhaps focus on plenty of good hugs and hand-holding.
Children want to connect, they instinctively know its importance. Sometimes it is more challenging for us adults to enjoy the journey - to find the time, to make space, and to feel present. Remembering that connection is in the everyday, in the moments, in the simple things is important. And, as a bonus, when we set out to support our children’s sense of connection, we might just find it supports our own sense of well-being as well!