Most parents find at one moment or another it is tricky to get their child to listen. As frustrating as it can be, it isn’t unusual, and is very common in early childhood. It is of course always important to check children can hear, so if you are concerned, booking a hearing test is always a good idea.
However, most of the time, it is simply that children are far too engaged and involved in whatever they are doing to want to listen to us!
Here are some ideas for how to help young children develop their listening skills…
Play games involving listening so it becomes fun, and they get lots of practice. Examples of games might include ‘sound bingo’ type games, musical statues and I Spy. As a bonus, I Spy also helps language development, and musical statues is helpful for learning self-control.
Get outside and listen to the natural world - see if you can identify different bird calls, and play a game to see who can hear different sounds in the outdoors such as leaves rustling, the sound of water, animals and insects.
Make sure you follow through on what you say - if children are going to listen to us they need to know we mean what we say. If we ask them to do something but rarely follow through, or say we will do something and don’t follow through, they will learn that what we say doesn't really matter and isn’t worth listening to.
Get down to their level when speaking. Adults tower above children and we forget what it must be like to be living in a world where most people are so much taller than you and talk over your head. Crouch down and connect with them with authenticity before trying to get them to listen.
Respect that they are busy playing and remember to interrupt them in the same way you would an adult. We sometimes forget that children’s play really matters and it is easy to ask them to do something without realising they are truly involved in what they are doing. This is the beginning of their ability to concentrate, so it is important we interrupt them respectfully.
Don’t be afraid of repeating yourself a few times if necessary! Children might need us to say things 2 or 3 times before they take it on board. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to listen or aren’t being respectful, it might just mean their mind is busy elsewhere and they need some processing time.
If they are verbal, try asking them to repeat back what you have asked them to do to check they have understood.
Finally, it is also helpful to reflect on our tone and body language when we talk to children. When we are busy and trying to get things done, it is all too easy to go in ready for them to say ‘no’ or not listen and sound like we are nagging before we have even opened the conversation. Pausing and ensuring we go in with a positive, considered and enthusiastic tone can completely change the dynamic of the interaction.